Crockumentary 101

I'd never seen a documentary (on purpose) before Michael Moore's Bowling for Columbine. Now I watch all kinds of documentaries. Bowling for Columbine opened the floodgates for successful documentaries with its humor, conviction, and powerful editing.

I've also enjoyed various mockumentaries, which are fictional films presented as documentaries (such as This Is Spinal Tap or the recent A Mighty Wind). They look and feel like documentaries, but it's all made up (usually, they are humorous and parodying).

Don't get me wrong, I love Bowling for Columbine. It's a good film. But I'm tempted to place it under the 'mockumentary' label for all its fictional content. But of course, it's not wholly fictional; just partly. The best lies are half-truths. So, I can't really call it a 'mockumentary,' but my conscience won't let me call it a documentary. What should I call it?

Crockumentary. As in, crock of shit. Bowling for Columbine smells of stinky lies.

In case you don't believe me, take a look at these insidious tricks used by Michael Moore in Bowling for Columbine (respectfully stolen from Truth About Bowling):

Bowling put forth the notion that the NRA rushed to Denver just after the Littleton tragedy in order to rub guns in devdevastatedestated people's faces. Actually, that meeting was an annual meeting in Denver that had been scheduled YEARS in advance. In Denver, the NRA cancelled every single event except for the necessary voters' meeting, which could not be cancelled due to state law!

Charlton Heston's 'cold dead hands' speech was not from the Denver meeting, but from a rally a YEAR later in Charlotte! It was a thank you speech for a gift he'd received: a musket.

Heston's speech, as played during Bowling for Columbine, does not exist. The audio was spliced together from FIVE different sections of a speech, and one from entirely different speech! Another example: at one point in the movie, Heston is quoted as saying, "I said to the Mayor: As Americans, we're free to travel wherever we want in our broad land. Don't come here? We're already here!" Actually, "I said to the mayor" is from one paragraph of the speech, the "broad land" actually comes from the end of the next paragraph, and the "Don't come here?" bit is a full FIVE PARAGRAPHS later in the speech. Moore covers up these giant deletions in the speech by cutting to other shots as Heston's edited voice continues. Perhaps you noticed that Heston was suddenly wearing different clothes in what was supposedly a continuous speech...

Later, Michael Moore says, "Just as he did after the Columbine shooting, Charlton Heston showed up in Flint, to have a big pro-gun rally." Actually, Heston's speech in Flint came EIGHT MONTHS later, just before the November elections, along with Bush and Gore rallies. Michael Moore himself hosted a Green Party rally a few weeks earlier.

For further examination of more boldfaced lies in Bowling for Columbine, visit Truth About Bowling.

So, there's a reason I'm telling you all this, right? Right. Michael's Moore's even more politically charged and controversial 'Farenheit 9/11' releases later this month. I'm excited to see it, as it probably will be quite entertaining and explore a lot of issues the Bush Administration has tried to hide. But as with anything, you should take it with a grain of salt. And with Michael Moore, you'd better just empty the saltshaker. Don't believe everything you see or here.

Another recommended viewing is Michael Moore Hates America, a documentary about the truth behind the American way of life, and Michael Moore's portrayals of it. It will hopefully be released this summer.