How to Make a Superman Movie

The new Superman movie has been in development hell for several years. The powers that be are at odds with one another and confused about how to make a successful Superman movie that can compete with the success of the Spider-Man and X-Men movies. Inspired by Steve Younis' article of the same name, I'm here to chart the course for the Perfect Superman Movie:

Attract the Right Talent

I see talent as the major factors behind the successes of X-Men and Spider-Man. Anyone can spend $150 on spectacular special effects, but only casting Hugh as Wolverine made him so cool, and only casting Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker made him so human. The talent in Batman Begins virtually guarantees its success: Christopher Nolan, David Goyer, Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Liam Neeson, Gary Oldman, Cillian Murphy, Tom Wilkinson, Morgan Freeman, Ken Watanabe: is it possible to screw this one up? I don't think so.

So, here's what you absolutely do not do: hand the project over to the directors of trash like Charlie's Angels and Bad Boys II. Do not cast Vin Deisel as a major character (what's next? Paul Walker as Superman?). Casting Jake Gyllenhaal would also be a mistake. It seems like execs want a Tobey-clone for their superhero movie, but let's not forget that Superman is not human, and is at 6'3" and 225 pounds, is much larger than Jake.

My suggestions? Well, the screenwriter is insignificant as long as the resulting script is excellent. I would love to see James Cameron or Steven Speilberg directing, but that won't happen. Superman should be played by an unknown that fits the profile and can act. I imagine Jennifer Connely or Jodie Foster as Lois Lane. Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor. Or just get whoever made the amazing casting decisions for Batman Begins to cast Superman.

Spend Your Money Wisely

Even at $200 million, a modern Superman movie would be tough to make. Realizing a completely fictional futuristic city larger than New York should be breathtaking and expensive. Superman's powers themselves are expensive to render. Also, the scale of a Superman story is generally much bigger than, say, a Batman or Spider-Man story. Generally, the problem is a worldwide catastrophe or some nearly indestructible villain destroying as much real estate as Godzilla would. So, don't spend $14 million for someone to play a walk-on role (as they did for Marlon Brando in the first Superman movie).

Address the Mass Audience's Problems with Superman

The world at large can apparently swallow hundreds of beneficial human mutations (X-Men) and a spider bite causing instant bodily structure changes (Spider-Man), but Superman has even more 'believability' concerns than those stories, and I feel they should be addressed. The biggest reason? Because they can. The comics have thoroughly answered every complaint. Don't be afraid to briefly (and discreetly) explain the nature of Kryptonite and the reasons behind Superman's powers. Slip into some dialogue how all photographs of Superman's face are blurry because Superman constantly vibrates his features at high speeds. Make a point about no one suspecting Superman would have an alternate identity because he is such a huge character in the world and does not wear a mask. And, most importantly, let him be consistent. If laser vision will solve the problem, don't ignore that he has this power. Give reasons for him not to always get out of a situation by use of one of lesser-known powers. And do not allow Superman to go back in time by reversing the rotation of the earth!

Wrestle with Superman's Multiple Struggles

Spider-Man 2 did a great job with this (on the drawing board, anyway). Juggling a career, a love interest, a hidden identity, and saving the world is terribly risky and taxing: show it as such.

Allow the Movie to Laugh at Itself

Don't laugh at it's conceits, but play with its realities while still treating them as reality. Let Superman be distracted in crisis by taking a glance through Lois' clothes. Let him cook his food or mend his broken glasses with laser vision.

Be Violent

Superman stories generally deal with a lot of destruction. Dozens, if not hundreds, of people die. Let them die, but don't overdue it. Show Superman being hurt, really badly. Let him be thrown through walls and a villain or two through walls.

Choose Your Villain Carefully

Comic book fans might be able to swallow a character like Eradicator or Doomsday, but they might illicit unintentional laughter from a mass audience. But, Lex Luthor is not enough: Superman needs a more powerful enemy.

Show Us the Darkest Night and the Brightest Day

This is the Return of the King factor: the end is brighter and more resonant the deeper we descend into hell. As with any action movie, the situation should become more and more impossible and tragic before it is unexpectedly but believably resolved by our self-sacrificing hero.

Be Poetic

Accept the world as a reality, but don't be afraid to embrace the myth, the legend of Superman. Take us through grand tragedy and epic heights. Allow Superman to be larger than life. If the whole movie is done beautifully and the mood has been set, I might cry on a scene of the clouds parting to shine on the Man of Tomorrow instead of laugh.